Welcome to Mommy-hood

The last two to three months of 2018 were some of the most challenging days I have experienced in a long time. The emotions and physical feelings I encountered seemed almost too hard to bear. As a self-care transformation coach, I felt completely out of touch with who I know to be the true me.

If you are not familiar with me I’ll share a little about who I was before November 2018. My friends describe me as a person who is always giving to others, dedicated, playful, outgoing, and full of love and positivity. My regular routine included daily exercise, enough to get me sweating and truly challenge not only my physical body, but my mind as well. My love of cooking had me in the kitchen meal prepping and baking sweet treats for friends birthdays or holidays. Each day I would be out and about visiting friends, walking my dog around the lake and enjoying each moment of my day. Self-discovery is a huge part of who I am, so every day there was time carved out to journal and read or research to constantly work on educating myself further to be better at what I love, coaching.

It all started at the very beginning on October. During my workouts I started to notice my heart rate rising significantly faster than usual and taking much longer to recover. The feeling of exhaustion seemed to take over even on small walks up tiny hills. This feeling alone was unfamiliar to me and I didn’t quite enjoy it. As November rolled around things began to get worse. My energy had declined so much that my desire to exercise was almost completely gone. Each morning I found it harder and harder to peel myself out of bed. My bubbly personality had shriveled to only a hope in my mind that someday the real me would return.

With all of this going on I still had to somehow muster up the ability to coach and even inspire my clients to continue working toward their personal transformations. To be honest with you, this was the only thing I could actually accomplish. Every other part of my life felt as if it was crumbling around me. My new marriage was not getting the love and attention it needed to grow and develop, the growth of my business had halted completely, my personal life had become nonexistent. I found myself cancelling plans and events all too frequently. The giant investment I had just made into building my business was sitting idly by as I lay sick in my bed for hours each day.

Somehow, thankfully, there was this determined voice inside my head that kept telling me, “you cannot let your clients down, keep coaching, keep helping, keep inspiring, whatever you do don’t quit on this.” So I didn’t. I laid in bed feeling ill and zapped of energy, but took everything I had to connect with my clients to reach out and stay committed to our calls and coaching them through whatever they needed, because they were relying on me. Even though everything else in my life fizzled, I would not let them down.

This experience has taught me something priceless. My passion runs deep and I will succeed at changing the world through coaching.

Hillary Bickel